This entry is about the episode. Details of the event can be found on the Northampton Horse and Hound Harriers Annual Hunt Ball and Get Together entry
'Life is full of little surprises for most people, particlarly when the postman calls at breakfast time. But he never surprises me, i know what im going to get: another tax demand that says pay in seven days or we'll have all the furniture removed including the bath; or the bill from the garage for repairing the parts on the car that broke down again the day afterwards. However, someone who is in for some surprising mail is - Chief Petty Officer Pertwee....'
Able Seaman Johnson brings the mail to Pertwee for 'checking'. Upon finding nothing in the other crews mail, he opens a letter actually addressed to him and inside finds an invitation to - "The Northampton Horse and Hound Harriers Annual Hunt Ball and Get Together" - which he received because he helped a girl in in the high street by lending her his chewing gum to mend her punctured bicycle tire. After deciding to attend, Pertwee tries to work out he is going to get the money to get to Northampton.
On the bridge Sub Lt Phillips is telling No.1 how he has an invitation to "The Northhampton Horse and Hound Harriers Annual Hunt Ball and Get Together" because he lent a friend of the family his bike when she was in town,'strange though, it came back with a dirty great lump of chewing gum in the tire', and that he is planning to take WRN Cornwell and tell WRN Chasen a convincing story of why she can't go. Breaking up the conversation are CPO Pertwee's many and various attempts to get a railway warrant to Northampton and 48hr pass, the reasons include: visiting the factory from whch the crew's shoes are made; and a sudden family reunion with his long lost brother.
WRN Cornwell visits WRN Chasen at Povey's office and Sub Lt Phillips duplicity is revealed as he has told Judy that Heather had the most conservative upbringing,('I think it's awful how parents went on in those days, imagine not letting you go out after halfpast six, and not letting you wear nylons until you were 21, and having to smoke cigarettes made out of brown paper and cabbage leaves') all news to WRN Chasen. At this most opportune moment, SL Phillips and No.1 arrive and Phillips is suitably chastised by the WRNs. WRN Cornwell then tells him that CPO Pertwee has offered them a lift to - "The Northampton Horse and Hound Harriers Annual Hunt Ball and Get Together" - in his car,'Oh really, thats jolly ni ..... IN HIS WHAT?', and Phillips is told how one of Pertwee's relatives won the pools and shared the money with the family, allowing Pertwee to legitimately buy a Fosdyke 3 litre Sports.
Sub Lt Phillips: 'A likely story!' 'From what I know of the Pertwees, they wouldn't share a bus shelter in a monsoon!'
Sub Lt Phillips and No.1 go into Povey's office. Povey, suspecting his wife is having an affair, ('Surely not, I mean what other man would be clott enough...',) asks the two if they could follow her to see where she actually goes on her supposed nights out to the cinema or her cousin Edith's, 'for the past five years her cousin Edith has lived in Peru'. No.1 is reticent but is talked into it, SL Phillips however is attending the - "The Northampton Horse and Hound Harriers Annual Hunt Ball and Get Together" - that night and so Lt Bates gets to accompany No.1.
In CPO Pertwee's car on the way to - "The Northampton Horse and Hound Harriers Annual Hunt Ball and Get Together" -, Cpo Pertwee is saying how he'll be getting a new car,(I thought this was the new model?)[Hardly sir, its a week old]'. When questioned about how he can afford to run the car, Pertwee slips up and tells Phillips he got it from a legacy from his white bearded old grandpa,
Judy: 'But you told me you'd won it on the stock exchange.
Sub Lt Phillips: 'Yes, and I've just remembered, you told No.1 a relative of yours had won the pools and shared it out.
CPO Pertwee: 'Yes er well, yeah well you see, i mean err, yes well...thats it!
Sub Lt Phillips: 'What is?
CPO Pertwee: 'I havn't the faintest idea hang on, wait a minute. Yes - My dear white bearded old grandfather won five quid on the pools, the shock killed him, so he left it to me and I bought some shares which rocketed over night and here we are motoring in the Fosdyke, Sir, yeah - hows that?
Sub Lt Phillips: 'Not bad, not bad - for the time.
Judy then asks Phillips if, as map reader, he had any idea where they were, and he disappoints them by telling them they have about 150 miles to go, much to the chagrin of CPO Pertwee, 'we've been going about two hours, and the whole journey was only 137 miles to start with'.
No.1 and L Bates are outside Povey's house waiting for Mrs Povey to leave. when she does they follow her and end up at the dock yard where she is met by AS Goldstein who is advertising 'the new sensastion of the age' which, when quized by No.1, he reveals as 'Floating Bingo of course' and CPO Pertwee's new found source of wealth. At this point Pertwee and co. arrive in the car, having managed to totally avoid - "The Northampton Horse and Hound Harriers Annual Hunt Ball and Get Together" -, they did find Southampton however. Pertwee initial denies all knowledge of Floating Bingo but relents when they get to Troutbridge where the bingo is being hosted by AS Johnson. Pertwee tells all about his bingo scheme, and the reason for his rapid wealth, ('the numbers we call out and the numbers they've got on their cards don't quite sort of match up'.) The police raid the ship and the bingoers are arrested. Povey rings the ship to find out news of his wife and is told by Sub Lt Phillips that she's been arrested, just before he is dragged off by the police.
Cast and CrewEdit
- Able Seaman Goldstein - Tenniel Evans
- Able Seaman Johnson - Ronnie Barker
- Lieutenant Bates - Michael Bates
- Commander Murray - Stephen Murray
- CPO Pertwee - Jon Pertwee
- Sub Lt Phillips - Leslie Phillips
- Ramona Povey/WRN Chasen - Heather Chasen
- WREN Judy Cornwell - Judy Cornwell
- Captain Povey - Richard Caldicot
- Written By: Laurie Wyman
- Produced By: Alastair Scott Johnson
Bus shelter/monsoon remark from personal recollection of hearing a repeat of the episode.